Though I cannot say that this will be the happiest post, it is a better one.

After many long talks with those close to me, and an especially good one with Rich Smith, I
decided not to go on the appalachian trail. Telling Kai was foremost in my deliberations, and I didn't want to let down my parents and his.
Surprisingly that day at work I had a message from kai. though this wasn't a new thing, he'd said he wouldn't be calling for another week or so. I had to wait an excrutiating hour before I got on break but the blessed half hour came and I was able to crash on a chair somewhere and eagerly hear this voice mail. His message told me of his own lack of funds, and how he was going to be quitting in nearly 9 days! I'm not happy to say it, but it is a relief that the pressure is off me.

We plan on going on a similar hike next year, and both knowing and having the funds to do it.

With love....Travis.

Fate, and irony have become major players in my game of life. Their attack on the continuation of this trip have become a nagging reality. My low paying (but well enjoyed) job is frustrating me because of the previously mentioned reason. It wouldn't be so bad if I could give plasma. Then I could actually keep my job. The reason I cannot donate evolves from previous problems in my past. First and foremost, my psoriasis; The medication required to subdue my monster in the past remains in my bloodstream, and is harmful to undeveloped children. Thus, I cannot donate. Even after two years of cleansing my liver has held onto some of the more dangerous chemicals.
After quitting my job I can hopefully get work at a local steel mill that is paying 12.50 an hour. First of all, I dont even know if I can get the job at the steel mill. secondly I dont know if i'll like it.

well, Thats enough of my complaining for now.
p.s. my next entry should be happier.